Yiddish and Hebrew

OK, I'm writing this in English as a sort of "neutral territory." (Plus, that way it will not take five hours to write, and non-Yiddish-speakers will also be able to read it.)

I'm starting an intensive Hebrew class on Monday. I've been aware of this date coming all throughout my Summer of Yiddish. I've been thinking of it as the date when I will have to break up with Yiddish. The reason is because I sort of think that I have to be serially monogamous with languages at this point, since I don't know any of them super well, and because a big way that I learn language is by "clicking it into the slot" of the language that I automatically think in, talk to myself in, listen to music in, watch movies in, etc.... in other words, I create a small immersion environment in my head. And I also learn better when I fall in love with the language ... which seems to happen in a serially monogamous way.

There's part of me that is saying, "Hey, it doesn't have to be like that. You can really be polyamorous with languages." And I'm curious about that possibility. I have been bigamous with languages twice before (once when I was in Israel, studying both Hebrew and Arabic, and once last semester, when I was taking both a Hebrew class and a Yiddish class). In those situations, I dealt with the immersion issue by making a very conscious decision about which times and spaces belonged to which language. (Oh, oh, oh, maybe I can take all the relationship advice out of The Ethical Slut and apply it to my dealings with languages!) I also think that there will be some Yiddish in my life this semester, probably ... and I want there to be, if it feels possible to really hold both at the same time.

But at some level, I think that I want Hebrew to be the language that I'm in love with right now. This is hard because Yiddish is actually the language that I'm in love with right now (although I'm sure that I'll get attracted to Hebrew again once I start playing with her). If I were making the decision right now, I would probably make this my Year of Yiddish. But I made the decision at the beginnng of the summer, for lots of good reasons, and I'm in seminary, and it's my Year of Hebrew. And it's a great opportunity to study with amazing teachers and amazing peers, and I really do love Hebrew deep down, and I know it's gonna help with Yiddish (and like, theoretically, if I got good enough at Hebrew, that could also make it possible for me to do the Israeli Yiddish MA program, which would definitely help with Yiddish).

And, sociologically, if I'm serious about understanding the issues that I seem to be serious about (Jewish peoplehood and self-determination and the like), then it's a good idea for me to understand modern Hebrew and engage with Israel.

And on a spiritual level, it's been helpful to remember that Yiddish and Hebrew are not enemies ... I can serve the same G!d through both languages. For some reason, that's been the most helpful thought so far.

OK. So I'm obviously doing a reasonable job of talking myself into believing that it's going to be fine. Partly, I just wanted to write this all down.

But. Even though I love both Hebrew and Yiddish, I think that making the switch is going to be painful on some level. Maybe part of what I want to do here, and part of what I need to do in order to be able to make the switch, is to bear witness to some of what I experienced this summer. It might be pretty simple:

-Yiddish and Yiddishists are amazing.
-Whoa.
-Anything I try to put into words will not do justice to what I experienced.
-ברוך השם און גאָט צו דאַנקען. אַזאַ אַ מזלדיקע און גליקלעכע ייִד בין איך.
-It makes sense to be sad when something is ending. And something is ending. I will never be a Yiddish virgin ever again. And there IS something special about your first time. (Sorry about the sexual metaphors, I can't resist.)
-It also makes sense to want to put words to what happened, and to share those words.
-I am not abandoning Yiddish or leaving it behind forever. I'm still the same person, G!d is still the same G!d, and this is all part of the same project.

Amen?