About This Blog (aka Relaunching My Blog)

Okay, so even though almost everything posted here is backdated to the date when I actually wrote it, in actual fact I put together this blog just now -- over the course of April 2017 -- from a myriad of sources (other abortive blogs I started over the years, electronic files that I'd saved, in some cases social media where I posted some of this stuff the first time around).

You'll find multiple categories of stuff here:

1.  A lot of poetry (which for the most part I have no idea where else to publish, since I know there are literary journals in the world but as far as I can tell no one reads them -- and I'm not sure I'd characterize my poetry as a "literary" pursuit in any case).

2.  A few academic / academic-style essays which aren't polished or original enough to publish in an academic setting but which I still think may carry some interest / point towards useful sources for folks who are interested in the topics I wrote about.

3. Short sermons, about Jewish liturgy, other Jewish texts, the Jewish year cycle, etc.

4. Some reflections on my own spiritual and mental-health journey, as well as lessons learned which I think might help others who wrestle with related challenges.

5. My reflections on life as a reader (and writer) -- reactions to specific works of literature and musings about bookworm-hood in general.

6. Interesting odds and ends that I encounter in my work as a graduate student in the field of Yiddish literature and culture, and in my study of Hebrew and other languages as well.

7. Tips and tricks for research, and (feminist) reflections on life in academia.

8. Here and there, thoughts about contemporary politics.

9. Last but not least, a bunch of music that I've written over the years.  I write quite a lot of music, but I'm not the greatest singer (or recorder!), so it's been a bit of a challenge to figure out how to get my music out into the world.  For now, I've decided that something is better than nothing, and putting it out there will allow "real musicians" to take what I've written and make it into something better than the forlorn recordings I'm posting here.

Happy reading!  Comments and emails are welcome.

Two more oldies but goodies (?)

Once upon a time I knew enough Latin to write Latin poetry... maybe.  You be the judge 😛

Interclusa

Numquam futuro lacrima-
tur sanguinem corpus meum.
Cum candet luna alvus mea
videtur esse ingens pirum.
Nitor genibus in nive ululo-
que frigido exanimique. Dum
capra parit infecunda sum.

Aestas

In herbis altis aridis
clandestinis duae fidis
confirmant amicitiam.
Ocellis pullioribus
et quasi aquam manibus
complexis spargunt gratiam.

My first ever poem

I've been going through a bunch of my old writing in order to put this blog together, and I found this poem which I apparently wrote at the tender age of 6 😉

FISH DOG CAT

A dog and a cat, especially a fish
Asleep by the fire
Awakened by a sound outside.
Ready for my meal!
That's what the dog says
Ready for some fish!
That's what the cat says
Don't eat me!
That's what the fish says
Neither the dog nor the cat had noticed the fish.
The fish! The fish!
That's what the cat says
I can chase the fish!
So the cat and the dog tried to chase the fish in its big glass case.

שתהיי לי הסכין

Today I finished listening to the audiobook of שתהיי לי הסכין (Be My Knife) by David Grossman. I do not know what to sayyyyy.

It is an extremely unique book, definitely worth reading, and I really really loved most of it; as always with his books I'm not sure about the ending (although I actually think it works better than the endings of some of his other novels).

For most of the book I strongly identified with Yair (unfortunately for me 😛); on the other hand, there are some things about him that are really non-OK, and it bothers me that the book is like one ginormous "woman performs emotional labor for man"-fest. I know it's a little more complicated than that but I think that's in there too, and I'm not sure whether the book itself is critical of that or not (although I guess it basically is). I mean I guess also, relationships are complicated and problematic and people can get a lot out of them and be strongly sucked into them even when the participants are seriously flawed -- and also, it's OK and important for stories to also show the ugly parts of being human. But in some sense, I feel like this is one of the least optimistic of his books that I've read (and the gender aspect is probably the most disturbing aspect).

I guess to some extent I'm also trying to think about what I personally can or want to learn from the book, considering how strongly I identified with one of the main characters... I guess I'm just hoping that I am on the way to becoming not-Yair (or, maybe, grownup-and-new-and-improved-Yair at least).

Trump is not Hitler

I was concerned about this before the election and my friend just pointed it out again too, and I still agree. Guys, Trump is not Hitler. ICE raids are not SS raids. I'm not saying this because I think the Holocaust was exceptional and has to be held up as the greatest genocide of all time, and I'm also not saying this because I don't think that what's happening now is bad (or because I'm not aware that part of what's happening now is a rise in anti-Semitism). I'm saying this because, until six months ago (apparently), there was a widespread awareness/principle that every social justice issue is different and analogies need to be used sparingly and with caution. Usually, the concern is about not appropriating other people's struggles, because bad things are already bad without being named as being "bad in the same way as some other bad thing." In this case, I think the issue is that white people need to be able to care about the fate of people of color without getting there via an analogy to a genocide directed against white people (people who in the American context can, in general, pass as / are considered to be white today). Trump is bad. ICE raids are bad. Can we just look at their inherent badness without trying to rev up our capacity for empathy by talking incessantly about the Holocaust?

Bonus:  A passage from דער בלוטיקער שפּאַס (by Sholem-Aleichem) in which he describes pre-revolutionary Russia's equivalent of an ICE raid (unfortunately I forgot to make a note of the page number):

On Knowledge, or the Lack Thereof, and Making History

Something I've been pondering: I switched from organizer-esque work to academia because I wanted to be sure (or at least a little more hopeful) that I know what the heck I'm talking about when I make claims about history. However, Trump is such a good reminder that history is all too often made by people who don't know anything about history. So, all you organizers out there, keep doing the right thing without worrying about if it's perfectly right, because there are plenty of people with plenty of power who are doing the very wrongest thing without caring at all about what rightness is.

Random thoughts based on writing and reading feelingsmail

1. Why in American culture are there two simultaneous yet opposite tropes:

On one hand, there's such a strong trope (at least for affluent white people) that relationships between parents and adult children are fraught and no one wants to go home for the holidays (e.g.). On the other hand, there's such a strong assumption that everyone's close to their family and gets homesick. These things are totally opposite but also both totally operating in pop culture and small talk all the time. What's up with that?

2. This whole thing about how women are supposed to be assertive and negotiate (and not engage in verbal hedges or upspeak), otherwise it's their fault that they don't advance (even if that's not always spelled out, that's the message).

But in a lot of contexts, both personal and professional, women are literally punished every single time they are assertive or negotiate or don't soften comments that could be perceived as confrontational. And then they also don't advance. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Could we find a way to talk about assertiveness and negotiation for women, while also being real about the consequences for doing that in the vast majority of cases? We shouldn't be talking in a way that saddles individual women with the burden of "unilaterally fixing a broken culture by acting as if people should treat them with respect," when doing so often results in the opposite, in terms of the consequences in individual women's lives. I understand that long experience sometimes makes women feel like they can't be assertive when actually they can, and it's important to learn how to notice and take those opportunities, and that does help to create an overall shift in the culture, but in all cases, this should be on the basis of calculated risk-taking with eyes wide open about potential backlash, and I don't usually see that acknowledged when people write or talk about this.

3. A dear trilingual message about love sent to me piece by piece by three dear hearts:

האהבה היא רגש טוב ומעצים ומגוון מאוד בהופעותיו ובצורותיו. היא יכולה גם להשתלט ולכבוש ולכאוב ולגרום להרס. לא תמיד אפשר לנווט אותה או לרסן אותה או להבין אותה או לגדול אתה. אהבה טובה באמת היא כזאת שגם המימוש שלה הוא טוב, כזאת שהיא הדדית ומתפתחת מתוך התרומה ההדדית לקשר שנבנה מציפיות משותפות. אני בטוחה שבסוף תעשי גם מה שצריך -- וואָס ס'איז באַשערט, איז באַווערט. Вы должны попробовать и быть терпеливой. И ждать своей любви! Всему своё время – так говорят!