On one hand, there's such a strong trope (at least for affluent white people) that relationships between parents and adult children are fraught and no one wants to go home for the holidays (e.g.). On the other hand, there's such a strong assumption that everyone's close to their family and gets homesick. These things are totally opposite but also both totally operating in pop culture and small talk all the time. What's up with that?
2. This whole thing about how women are supposed to be assertive and negotiate (and not engage in verbal hedges or upspeak), otherwise it's their fault that they don't advance (even if that's not always spelled out, that's the message).
But in a lot of contexts, both personal and professional, women are literally punished every single time they are assertive or negotiate or don't soften comments that could be perceived as confrontational. And then they also don't advance. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Could we find a way to talk about assertiveness and negotiation for women, while also being real about the consequences for doing that in the vast majority of cases? We shouldn't be talking in a way that saddles individual women with the burden of "unilaterally fixing a broken culture by acting as if people should treat them with respect," when doing so often results in the opposite, in terms of the consequences in individual women's lives. I understand that long experience sometimes makes women feel like they can't be assertive when actually they can, and it's important to learn how to notice and take those opportunities, and that does help to create an overall shift in the culture, but in all cases, this should be on the basis of calculated risk-taking with eyes wide open about potential backlash, and I don't usually see that acknowledged when people write or talk about this.
3. A dear trilingual message about love sent to me piece by piece by three dear hearts:
האהבה היא רגש טוב ומעצים ומגוון מאוד בהופעותיו ובצורותיו.
היא יכולה גם להשתלט ולכבוש ולכאוב ולגרום להרס.
לא תמיד אפשר לנווט אותה או לרסן אותה או להבין אותה או לגדול אתה.
אהבה טובה באמת היא כזאת שגם המימוש שלה הוא טוב,
כזאת שהיא הדדית ומתפתחת מתוך התרומה ההדדית לקשר שנבנה מציפיות משותפות.
אני בטוחה שבסוף תעשי גם מה שצריך -- וואָס ס'איז באַשערט, איז באַווערט.
Вы должны попробовать и быть терпеливой. И ждать своей любви! Всему своё время – так говорят!
